BACKWARD OTTO by Russ McKay
Posted on July 18, 2015
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Otto wanted to be in my poems
But he always talks in palindromes
Well I had a tough time
Most palindromes do not rhyme
He was basically told to go home
“Yo banana boy” Otto said
And I quickly turned ’round my head
Then he started yellin’
“No lemons no melon”
I told him to go home to bed
“Was it a car or cat I saw?”
Then he yelled “Race fast safe car”
I told Otto he made no sense
And his yellin’ made me tense
I started feeling way below par
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As I managed to get him outside
His screaming was real
As he grabbed “Lee a eel”
But poor Otto I could not abide
He looked back at me in the fog
“Go hang a salami I’m a lasagna hog!”
And as he was leavin’
He called “Never odd or even”
Then he was chased by my neighbor’s dog
Talking with Otto’s as hard as it gets
At least he does not have Tourettes
Both backward and forward is he
I called and he looked back at me
“Just make sure you “Step on no pets!”
CARTOON BALLOON by Russ McKay (aka sillygrandpa.com)
Posted on July 4, 2015
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Some cartoon characters feel sorry for me
‘Cause when they look all they see…
Is someone else’s words and things
Filling MY balloon when it talks and sings
But sometimes I have something to say
Yet without my own balloon I have no way
I was thinking of a cloud to communicate
A huge cumulus would be worth the wait
I could be all kinds of different shapes
Even shaped like a bunch of bright white grapes
Speaking through a cloud would be quite a caper
But for now I’m just stuck on a sheet of white paper
Unless you’re reading me on the internet
Where this bright blue screen is the best I can get
And for giving a cartoon balloon this chance to say
I first want to thank writer Russ McKay
GRANDDAUGHTER’S TEA PARTY by Russ McKay
Posted on June 30, 2015
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Yesterday about the hour of three
I was invited to have high tea
My Granddaughter had invited me
And I was happy to be you see
When I arrived I just said “Gee!”
Smaller teacups…there just couldn’t be
She instructed me…”Please take a seat!”
“Where DO I put my feet?”
“Oh just stick them out there anywhere
It doesn’t matter I really don’t care”
So I removed my baseball hat
And with great difficulty down I sat
My Granddaughter poured me out some air
Which only caused me to start to stare
She lifted up her cup to sip
And I put mine up to my lip
“No wait! Would you like lemon or cream?”
“Ah…yes I’ll have both if it’s all the same”
She poured me out cream air “Say when!”
“Ah…that’s just perfect once again”
“Shall it be one lump or two?”
“As many lumps as pleasures you”
Her wrist she delicately did bend
Serving me two lumps of sweet pretend
“And if you will now my dear sir
It is time for us to stir”
So I began to stir my air
With a great amount of care
“Now try some…tell me how it tastes”
I tried as a guest not to do so with haste
With my pinky finger stuck straight out
I put the cup up to my mouth
But drink the tea I just could not
The tea was much too…much too hot!
I waited…but when I took a sip
I scalded my poor upper lip
My Granddaughter laughed and giggled with glee
“Thank you for coming to tea with me!”
SOFTBALL by Russ McKay (aka sillygrandpa.com)
Posted on June 16, 2015
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My big sister’s on a softball team
And we went to watch her play
But it wasn’t fun to watch her
When we went yesterday
I was sitting on a grassy spot
Over near third base
When some girl hit a foul ball
That struck me in the face
It really hurt and left a mark
But soon I was OK
But I’m not sure I’ll ever
Go again to watch her play
And there’s something I can’t figure out
No…I don’t understand at all
That hard leather thing that hit me
Why is it called “SOFT” ball?
MY FIRST HAIRCUT by Russ McKay
Posted on June 4, 2015
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Today is the day
I get my hair cut away
Dad said it’s OK
But I’m scared anyway
I don’t want this trip
Those scissors could slip
And he might cut my lip
Or my shirt he could rip
At the barber’s store
There was hair on the floor
But no blood and no gore
It was not long before…
He made me sit there
In his big barber chair
Then he pumped it with air
And it rose so my hair…
Was as high as his shears
I was almost in tears
As those scissors came near
“I want outta here!”
But my Dad held me down
As the man trimmed my crown
Then he turned me around
In the mirror I found…
A new looking boy
And my face filled with joy
Then the barber named Roy
Game me a small toy
“You did great my lad
You’re the nicest I’ve had
Most Kids will act bad
Or they get very sad”
“Please come back any time
And your haircut looks fine
So if there is no line
Choose the chair that is mine”
“That was fun Dad
I’m no longer sad
Roy was nice as you said
It’s the best haircut I’ve had!”
SWIMMING IN THE SEA by Russ McKay (AKA sillygrandpa.com)
Posted on June 1, 2015
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I’m not the biggest fan of swimming in the ocean
It’s mostly cold and salty and removes your tanning lotion
I’ll just sit here upon the shore and watch the others swim
It’s fun to see the little ones for the first time going in
Out there’s a place where sharks and fast rip tides abound
The shore is much the safer place… they can’t reach you on high ground
The sand is soft between my toes…my book begs to be read
My new sunglasses should stay dry and so should my bald head
Yes I much prefer to spectate atop granulated turf
But I understand the fun and charm of swimming in the surf
When you think of all the things that you and yours can do in it
Just remember all those fish out there…go number one and two in it!
A HAPPY TILE by Russ McKay AKA sillygrandpa.com
Posted on May 27, 2015
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I’m just a tile on the floor
I don’t really want to be more
I can’t even talk
On me, people walk
Yet I don’t ever get sore
You ask what I did before
I was stacked in the back of a store
That’s where I stayed
Until I was laid
Replacing a surface thought poor
And before that, I was cut out of rock
Yes, I’m “a chip off the old block”
My Dad would be proud
I am part of a crowd
That are all considered good stock
So the next time you walk on a tile
Remember me, look down and smile
I’m in a groove
I can’t even move
But I keep looking up all the while
A NEW LETTER by Russ McKay
Posted on April 26, 2015
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I’ve just learned my alphabet
Memorized it A to Z
And as I said it yesterday
A thought occurred to me
I could become world famous
Everyone would know my name
If I invented a new letter
Alphabets would have to change
This is gonna take some thinking
To achieve this goal of mine
It would have to be a letter
That folks used all the time
The more I thought about it
One sure fact I found
The thing I’d have to do first
Is invent a whole new sound!
IF YOU WERE A GRAPE by Russ McKay
Posted on April 11, 2015
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If you were a grape you might hang in a bunch
And some hungry kid might have you for lunch
If you were a grape maybe grape juice you’d be
You’d have to be squeezed but you would flow free
If you were a grape you could be a jam or jelly
And you might wind up in somebody’s belly
If you were a grape you might become wine
You’d be in a bottle for a very long time
Yes a grape has potential to be different things
Just like girls and boys that can be anything
Your potential is so great it’s simply amazin’
In fact I’m so old I’ve turned into a raisin
HUMILITY by Russ McKay
Posted on April 7, 2015
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Being ” humble” should be our goal
From childhood up that’s what we’re told
But it gets tougher as you grow old
Your past triumphs are just like gold
You want to tell all you’ve done
And all the prizes that you’ve won
And you think that it’s really fun
To boast about a life well run
But it gets tough to find a listener
An attention paying true parishioner
Most have heard your tales before
When you arrive…they’re out the door
Yes it’s far better to be humble
Not being so’s a social stumble
I tell you this from experience
I’d start to talk, they’d start to wince
But I kept going just the same
They didn’t think I knew their game
I was never burdened with humility
What I seek in others is not in me
Although my recent audience
Now numbers less than few
It seems that I’ve just one reader left
And I’m sorry…but it’s you!
