SPRING: Check Your Calendar

Posted on March 18, 2024
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Does some of Spring think no “not yet”?
Or is it Winter knowing not when to quit?
Tardy Winters make Spring like Fall
Tender shoots bloom not at all

Spring never condemns the Summer’s start
And Autumn is patient in playing its part
I blame Winter for each seasonal cheat
So I moved Down South and hit “delete”

Barney The Bunny

Posted on March 4, 2024
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Barney the bunny had lots of barnyard friends, and protection, and plenty of food, but it was near Easter and he was sad.
“What’s the matter Barney?” inquired Crawford the Crow.
“Ever heard of the Easter Bunny, Craw?”
“Sure, but I must admit we don’t participate, except when they throw out the Easter Basket colored grass….we LOVE that stuff!”
“Well, I KNOW I’m never gonna qualify for the ACTUAL Easter bunny, there’s a line and a list so long that
nobody knows where the end of it actually is!”
“But you gotta cheer up Barn ole Pal…at least you aren’t gonna be a chocolate bunny!” Then Crawford started to whisper…”I hear that kids bite off the ears first!”
“Oh….I heard that too….but at least I wouldn’t be able to hear what they were gonna bite off next!
“Ha Buddy…you are the eternally optimistic one. Cheer up! Something will come up…it always does.” Then
Crawford “Cawed, “ and flew off.
Then Barney began to think. “I know that I can’t be the REAL Easter Bunny, but maybe I could be like Santa’s helpers and be E. B.’s helper here in the woods. In fact, maybe I could make chocolate bugs and worms for the birds, and chocolate corn for the hens, and chocolate bones for the dogs, and….and….but where am I gonna find the chocolate?”
Barney thought about the little neighborhood store on Union Avenue, where the nice Lady and husband and daughters also lived. They always left little bits of food outside. They might have been thinking that they were feeding a stray dog or cat…but it was really me!
“I bet if I could explain to them how nice it would be to gift my animal friends some chocolate for Easter, they might want to help with some old candy bars or even hot chocolate powder, and I could make the candy myself. Bunnys can do a lot more than regular folks think.”
Barney would have to think long and hard and maybe even get some ideas from Oscar the Owl.”…he’s so smart.”
After Barney woke up Oscar in the middle of the afternoon, he wasn’t very happy. But as a friend, he listened to Barney. “Let me think about that and get back to you at sunset!”
Barney waited, and true to his word, at sunset, Oscar came out and flew down to Barney.
“What you need to do is have the Secretary Bird write a note for you, take it to the little store’s back door in person.
You are as cute to humans, as you are tasty to coyotes….OH! Shouldn’t have said that….erase erase….now go find Sally the Secretary bird and get on with it!”
“Ah…thank you Oscar…. except for the tasty part.”
“You are Welcome!!!” and Oscar disappeared back into his tree.
Well, adorable Barney, looking his adorablest, went to see the Wagners at their store, and believe or not, after the note was read, the lady disappeared inside for a few minutes, and she returned with a “basket” full of what she called “leftover” Hershey bars, and a couple of containers of Nesquick hot chocolate powder.
Barney bowed deeply, and the lady smiled down at him as he grabbed the basket’s handle and jumped off back to his animal friends to surprise them all.
Not many folks know about this event, but those that do, realize that it was the very first time that a Bunny got a basket of chocolate for Easter! And remember, you heard it here first! And Barney could hear it too, because after Easter, he happily still had both of his huge rabbit ears!

Tying My Shoes by russ mckay

Posted on March 2, 2024
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Today I’ve got some news
I’ve learned how to tie my own shoes
It started out rotten
‘Stead of tyin’ I was knottin’
But I finally made two nice bows

The point is you have to tie
The laces so that when you try
The bow comes out easy
As though it was greasy
And you’ve got two strands side by side

At first I thought I had got
A bow, but I got a knot
Over and over again
I practiced the bend
But properly tied they were not

It’s a simple thing to complete
And to tie your own shoes is so neat
There’s only one thing
Besides extra string
Both my shoes are on the wrong feet!

Second Childhood by sillygrandpa.com

Posted on February 22, 2024
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I’m in my second childhood
Doin’ what a child would
Didn’t think I ever could
Be this bad and it be so good

Yes I’m as bad as I can be
‘Cause I report to only me
So I suppose that you can see
What Good livin’s done for me

I’m always up at the crack of noon
 Unless of course that is too soon
My bedtime’s early…never stay out late
Right after sunrise and always by eight

I don’t recommend this type of life
Especially if you have a wife
But mine’s understanding to the extreme
Oh wait…I just woke up and that was a dream

Valentine’s Day by russ mckay

Posted on February 10, 2024
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I think a girl thought up Valentine’s Day

Guys just never think that way

In school they make you celebrate

By sending heart covered cards to your classmate

Mom’s and girlfriends love to get

Gifts of candy and flowers and you can’t forget

 There’s NO excuses…just ask my Dad

If he forgot it would really be bad

He makes me remind him the week before

And he still wonders if he should’ve done more

Until Valentine’s over he stays wary

But all’s back to normal the fifteenth of February

My First Haircut by russ mckay

Posted on February 6, 2024
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Today is the day

I get my hair cut away

Dad said it’s OK

But I’m scared anyway

I don’t want this trip

Those scissors could slip

And he might cut my lip

Or my shirt he could rip

At the barber’s store

There was hair on the floor

But no blood and no gore

It was not long before…

He made me sit there

In his big barber chair

Then he pumped it with air

And it rose so my hair…

Was as high as his shears

I was almost in tears

As those scissors came near

“I want outta here!”

But my Dad held me down

As the man trimmed my crown

Then he turned me around

In the mirror I found…

A new looking boy

And my face filled with joy

Then the barber named Roy

Game me a small toy

“You did great my lad

You’re the nicest I’ve had

Most Kids will act bad

Or they get very sad”

“Please come back any time

And your haircut looks fine

So if there is no line

Choose the chair that is mine”

“That was fun Dad

I’m no longer sad

Roy was nice as you said

It’s the best haircut I’ve had!”

The “I Don’t Know About Book”

Posted on January 30, 2024
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IF i wrote a book about all the tings that I don’t know about

In infinite detail…my ignorance I would tout

I’d have to research all manner of things on subjects I don’t know

 It would be methodical…the process would be slow

And at the end of many years of learning what I didn’t know before

I’d wind up knowing everything and wouldn’t need to know no more!

New Baby Brother

Posted on January 26, 2024
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Well they finally did it!

They brought him home today

My “bouncing baby brother”

As they like to say

I saw him in the nursery

Through the window there

I couldn’t see too much of him

Just his nose, forehead and hair

I guess I’ll just get used to

Having him around

He surely is a noisy thing

When they lay him down

I was such a happy baby

I was never sad

And I’ve grown up to be a good girl

I’m very rarely bad

But I just don’t understand

Why they think they need

A messy crying baby

Another mouth to feed

I’m tall enough to peek in

His crib and bassinette

And only when he’s sleeping

That’s close as I want to get

“What’s that Mom…

Me…hold him?”

“I really don’t…oh well

He’s looking right up at me

As far as I can tell”

“So this litle thing’s my brother

He’s being quiet now

You know…I think he likes me

He just yawned…Oh wow!”

“Can’t I just keep holding him

I like the way he feels

And his blue eyes are real pretty

They’re as big as seals”

“So…Hi there brother Billy

It’s almost time for lunch

I’m your sister Cathy

And I love you very much!”

“Cat Up A Tree” by silly grandpa

Posted on January 12, 2024
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I spied a cat up in a tree

It was looking down at me

But when I smiled it turned away

And I didn’t know quite what to say

How’d you get there? I wanted to ask

It must have been quite a task!

I stood looking up from the ground

Wondering how the cat would get down

I didn’t know then, but it wondered too

And obviously did not know what to do

After both of us stared for quite a while

The cat finally began to smile

“Are you the Cheshire cat?” Was my query

But the feline was becoming weary

“I’ll climb up and help you down!”

But then the cat began to frown.

I took no mind and started up

And just as I got to the top

The feline jumped upon my back

Ran down to the ground and that’s a fact

I rested on the skinny top limb

By the way the cat was a him

Now I was the one who began to frown

Because I had no way to get myself down

I was feeling really really dumb

When the local firemen had to come

And help me get down from that tree

But then the cat began laughing at me

But that was not the story’s end

The once treed cat became my friend

We joked about the tree and me

And he at his regular place atop the tree

It’s a wonderful thing when a friend is found

And from now on we’ll both stay on the ground

Princess by russ mckay

Posted on January 8, 2024
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I would like to be a Princess

That’s what I’d like to be

I’d have a castle and a throne

I’d be from royalty

My Dad and Mom

Would be King and Queen

I’d be the richest Princess

You have ever seen

But I was born in Cleveland

My Mom and Dad work hard

Our home is not a castle

Our moat is but a yard

 There’s still a way that I could be

A Princess in my life

And that’s if I am married

To a Prince and I’m his wife

But just how do you find one?

Tell me where they hide

Do I have to find a castle

And then just look inside?

Of course he must be handsome

So he can’t look like a dog

Yes, there’s another way to get one

But I ain’t kissin’ any frog!!!

keep looking »

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