FRUITCAKE by Russ McKay
Posted on December 14, 2015
Filed Under Holiday, Tweens | Leave a Comment
I ate my first bite of fruitcake today
And that first bite caused me to say…
“I like fruit and I like cake
But whoever named it
Made a big mistake!”
It was ugly brown and there was no doubt
The stuff inside it was tryin’ to get out
I don’t blame it I would too
Little red and green things covered with goo
Grandpa took a bite and broke a tooth
“That cake there’s, meant for the youth”
Grandma had baked it so he had tried
“It’s the last tooth I had!” and then he cried
Then Grandma offered me a piece
“Granny, why not share some with your niece?”
“Oh what a generous boy are you!”
“I wiped my brow and just said “Whew!”
But then, as I turned around
There was Grandma with about a pound
Of her fruitcake sliced onto a plate
“Oh thank you Granny, it sure is great!”
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My dog Sam just ran away
As I brought the cake plate his way
He saw the cake and he saw me
That dog has a real good memory
“Sam” was here last Christmas too
He’d tried to bury it, thought it was poo
Grandma watched me with her smile
And I stood there for the longest while
“Go ahead and eat your cake
It took me many hours to make”
I smiled back and looked around
But there was no one to be found
Then Dad’s head popped in the door
“I love that cake is there any more?”
“Oh Dad…there’s just this one last bit
If you want, I’ll gladly give you it!”
“Thank you son you are so kind”
“I hope Grandma doesn’t mind!”
“Oh no he’s such a generous lad…
It’s the best Christmas I’ve ever had!”
THE McKAY ELF by Russ McKay
Posted on November 23, 2015
Filed Under Holiday, Tweens | Leave a Comment
The McKay’s have an elf that sits on a shelf
And sometimes he sits on a table
As each day is through he goes somewhere that’s new
And reports to Santa by cable
He’s there to see if the McKay kids are good
To their parents their dog and each other
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They need to be kind and obey like they should
This time of year with Christmas so near
Please be kind to each other and even yourself
‘Cause when trimmed trees are glistening Santa is listening
Through kid’s parents and the elf on the shelf
THE CHRISTMAS STOCKING by Russ McKay
Posted on November 19, 2015
Filed Under Holiday, Tweens | Leave a Comment
All of my socks are but a size two
They wouldn’t hold much so I knew what to do
I borrowed my Grandpa’s…his feet are real big
And I hope that Dear Santa doesn’t think I’m a Pig!
I hung Grandpa’s stocking by the chimney with care
If I’d hung up size two…well it wouldn’t be fair
Most kids I know hang socks that are HUGE
I hope no one thinks that I’m being a scrooge
But I have something that I want to report
And I’ll try to make this long story short
When I woke up early last Christmas morn
Left instead of MY sock was one that was worn
It was all red and fuzzy with a tear in the toe
It looked like it had been left out in the snow
And there was a note on the table nearby
It was written by Santa and it started out “HI…
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But I tore my stocking when I slipped on your roof
So I borrowed your sock to aid me tonight
To help keep my toes warm and solve my small plight”
Well I thought Santa’s sock was the best gift EVER
And I told lots of folks but…believe me?…NEVER!
But I know it’s true and it’s just like I said
It’s Santa’s real stocking and it’s really quite red!
But the neatest of all I’ve yet to tell
About three days later I heard the door bell
It was UPS and a guy dressed in brown
“I’ve a package from the North Pole’s Lost and Found
Sign here if you want it”…and so I did
Then guess what was there when I opened the lid?
YEP! Grandpa’s stocking…as good as new
And a note from Santa that just read “Thank You!”
A HELPING HAND by Russ McKay
Posted on November 7, 2015
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
A trip to Paris and The Louvre Museum
World’s greatest art and I wanted to see um
As I was walking by the statue Venus de Milo
I heard a whispering voice that spoke quite low
I looked around but saw no one near
Did I really hear what I thought I did hear?
“Psst….do me a favor and scratch my nose”
I looked all around…”Do you suppose?”
No just couldn’t be….statues can’t speak
Then once again a whisper like “squeek”
“Please do me a favor and scratch it for me
I’ve got no arms or hands as you plainly see
It’s an itch needing scratching for a century”
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Well I was all alone so what is the harm
Sure I’d help a Lady with no hand and no arm
But as I climbed up and just touched the tip of her nose
What do you think happened… what do you suppose?
Bells whistles and alarms and I was arrested
“She asked me to scratch her nose!” I protested
“I don’t believe a word” the Gendarme said
Besides it’s my job to scratch that nose on her head!”
A HAPPY POET by Russ McKay (aka sillygrandpa.com)
Posted on November 5, 2015
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
It’s fun writing poems for kids
They love to laugh and giggle
And when you read your poems to them
They’ll listen close not wriggle
Well most of them do anyway
Some kids are hard to please
But I guess that I just like them all
“God Bless You!” did you sneeze?
“Now Johnny stop your hitting Sue
And Jimmy please sit up
I’m trying to read you all this poem
Try not to interrupt”
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Oh…now I’ve lost my place
Does someone here remember?”
Every kid was just blank faced
“I guess I’ll just start over”
“Please Mister don’t do that…
Could you skip on to the end
Read that short one ’bout the cat!”
I like writing poems for children
Yes I really do
I love to make them happy
And they are…when I am through!
SPELLING by Russ McKay
Posted on October 27, 2015
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
When I have a hard time spelling a wurd
Like hippopotamus, rhinoceros or burd
I’m told to go to the dictionary for a clew
But if you can’t spell it what do you due?
The dictionary tells you the meaning of wurds
And how to pronounce them as well as nurds
They include all the wurds in the book and bind ’em
But you gotta know how to spell ’em to find ’em
LANDING CATS by Russ McKay (aka sillygrandpa.com)
Posted on October 23, 2015
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
Here’s a fact about felines that’s really neat
Most breeds of cats land on their feet
You can drop them…or they can fall from a tree
Just watch and you’ll see them land on their feet
There WAS one breed of cats that would land on their head
They were very pretty cats but they are all dead
I’M GLAD YOU HAVE A GRANDPA by Russ McKay (aka sillygrandpa.com)
Posted on October 21, 2015
Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
I’m so glad you have a Grandpa
‘Cause they are so much fun
Just think of all the stuff you’d miss
If you never did have one
Without a Grandpa almost never saying no
There’d be no one to teach you
To ” take your time…be slow”
Just think that all those Grandpas
Once had Grandpas too
That gave them too much candy
And took them to the zoo
They all had laps and stories Grandchildren listened to
And just be there and love you… was all they had to do
Make sure to love your Grandpa and tell him and you’ll see
It will make him happy I know ’cause he is ME!
OGDEN NASH by Russ McKay (aka sillygrandpa.com)
Posted on October 13, 2015
Filed Under Grandpa | Leave a Comment
I miss a writer named Ogden Nash
His rhymes were funny and often brash
Sometimes he would fracture verse
And he was almost never terse
And one thing more that’s really neat
He used to live just up the street
I wasn’t writing poems back then
Not yet taking up the pen
But I wish that he were here today
I’d show him my work to hear what he’d say
‘Though I might be a bit afraid
He’d say that my skills don’t make the grade
He might refuse to help my cause
Because my poetry has such flaws
People sometimes aren’t the way they seem
He might have turned out to be really mean
So it’s silly for me to have this dread
That I’ve been conjuring in my head
He really can’t hurt my feelings none
‘Cause he’s been dead since ’71!
THE SIREN by Russ McKay
Posted on September 28, 2015
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
Sirens fascinate me
When I hear them getting louder
If I could drive an ambulance
I could not be any prouder
“Woop, woop, woop”
And “Dee Daw, Dee Daw”
I would make the siren blast
I’d rush through downtown traffic
I’d drive carefully, but fast
Yes I would like to drive an ambulance
A job where time’s well spent
I’d love to be the driver
But not the occupant!
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