The Silly School Bus by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on May 20, 2021
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
The kids were waiting for the morning school bus
All were happy without the usual fuss
Then a strange sight came down their road
A painted polka dot bus with a cartoon toad
It was wobbly and bounced as it came near
And it clunked and rattled loudly to the ear
The kids weren’t sure if they would climb inside
But they all decided that they just had to ride
The driver Dan was their regular guy
And he laughed really loud as he said “Hi!”
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It was the sillyist bus they’d EVER seen
But they all got to school safe and sound
‘Though some were happy to put their feet on the ground
But after they got off and looked back around
The silly bus was missing, nowhere to be found
The kids were still chatting about the morning fun
So the teacher asked about it when they were done
When they told the teacher about the very strange ride
She laughed and held up her SYLLABUS guide
Baby Talk by russ mckay
Posted on May 17, 2021
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
Jibber, Jabber, jibber
Is how it sounds to you
But just between us babies
It’s “Hey there Bud what’s new?”
You see we have a language
We infants fresh as dew
But we only use it when we see
Other babes who see us too
And we don’t like huge bulging heads
That suddenly appear
Staring down upon us
Too big and way too near
And what’s that you are saying?
Sounds faintly like some words we use
We like your smiles and funny face
But what’s with those “Goo Goo’s”?
It’s easy chatting babies up
We’re a friendly bunch
The only time we’ll stop our talking
Is when it’s time for lunch!
But the real tough thing for us is
Right before we’re two
We must learn a whole new language
Just to talk to you!
Golfing With Dad by russ mckay
Posted on May 10, 2021
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
Last week my Dad went golfing
For the first time he took me
He said that I would surely learn
To play as well as he
He teed the ball up on a tee
And hit it ’bout a mile
Then he teed my ball up
You shoulda seen him smile
After I had finished swinging
The ball hadn’t moved a hair
I swung just like my Dad just did
But all I hit was air!
Dad made adjustments to my stance
My grip, my elbow and my knee
I’d swing again after each adjustment
But the ball stayed on the tee
I tried again five more times
I was starting to not have fun
That ball just sat there and stared up at me
It finally had won
Dad could see I wasn’t happy
Playing golf with him
“Maybe when you’re older
We can come back then”
I’m looking forward to this weekend
Dad and I are going out
We’re going to play some tennis
Hit the tennis ball about
My Dad’s a terrific player
I guess he’s always been
And I’m sure that he will teach me
To be as good as him
Ogden Nash by russ mckay
Posted on May 1, 2021
Filed Under Grandpa | Leave a Comment
I miss a writer named Ogden Nash
His rhymes were funny and often brash
Sometimes he would fracture verse
And he was almost never terse
And one thing more that’s really neat
He used to live just up the street
I wasn’t writing poems back then
Not yet taking up the pen
But I wish that he were here today
I’d show him my work to hear what he’d say
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He’d say that my skills don’t make the grade
He might refuse to help my cause
Because my poetry has such flaws
People sometimes aren’t the way they seem
He might have turned out to be really mean
So it’s silly for me to have this dread
That I’ve been conjuring in my head
He really can’t hurt my feelings none
‘Cause he’s been dead since ’71!
SIRENS by russ mckay
Posted on April 24, 2021
Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Sirens fascinate me
When I hear them getting louder
If I could drive an ambulance
I could not be any prouder
“Woop, woop, woop”
And “Dee Daw, Dee Daw”
I would make the siren blast
I’d rush through downtown traffic
I’d drive carefully, but fast
Yes I would like to drive an ambulance
A job where time’s well spent
I’d love to be the driver
But not the occupant!
The Barking Duck by russ mckay
Posted on April 16, 2021
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
As I was walking in the park
I heard a loud distinctive bark
“That’s a big dog behind me I suppose”
But it was a DUCK without any clothes
He waddled and was brown with a big black beak
But I was amazed when I heard him speak
He got really close and said “Pardon me Sir…
But might you have a lozinger?”
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While I looked in my bag for some lozenges
Then there in the back I found a whole pack
And as he ate them he started to quack
“Oh thank you kind Sir” and he waddled away
He quacked at the kids as he passed their way
He was quacking happily as he plunged into the pond
And I yelled out to him “Now get some clothes on!”
Tailless Cats by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on April 11, 2021
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
Did you know there is a breed
Of cats that have no tails?
It took a lot of research
Seeing why this trait prevails
It happened many years ago
On porches by the sea
Upon an Island known as Man
It was said to be
The people there were restful
Loved to watch the scenery
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Friendly felines seemed to be…
Always near the old folks
Taking in the view
The cats would laze along porch floors
As cats are prone to do
But it started causing problems
There was screeching everywhere
So the felines cut their tails off
To avoid those rocking chairs!
The Secret Animal by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on April 3, 2021
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
There is a unique animal and I want to tell you
It’s one you’ll not find in any world zoo
Deep in the jungles it was seen
It’s part brown part yellow and mostly green
It groans like a lion
And snorts like a boar
It has no tail
And Oh…there is more
No one knows if it’s a boy or a girl
But they do know it’s the only one in the world
They think it knows too ’cause it’s always sad
Because it’s just one…there’s no Mom or Dad
Yes it’s truly an orphan without family or home
It’s whole lifelong it will just have to roam
It lives along the river banks and walks very slow
Looking like a cross between two animals we know
The front looks Hippopotamus and the rear Rhinoceros
So those that have seen it call it the Preposterous
All agree it’s a pity that the ugly Preposterous
Has very little chance of ever being adopterous
The Sneeze by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on March 29, 2021
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment
Little Susie McBee
Had a severe allergy
When near a cat
She’d hold onto her hat
‘Cause her sneeze was as hard as could be
She tried to avoid cat’s always
But one day while visiting Miss Hayes
Hayes’ cat jumped right up
On Susie’s lap quite abrupt
Susie’s nose started twitching four ways
“I’ll try to do all I can
Not to sneeze like some giant man”
But Sue “ACHOO’d” without grace
Her nose flew off of her face
And landed in cat’s litter pan!
“Oh my what hab I done?”
Dat’s my node and I only hab one”
She retrieved it real quick
And gave it quite a hard flick
Tried to replace it from where it’d gone!
She got her nose back on that’s true
But something still smelled like poo
‘Though she’d replaced it well
It really did smell
But that’s what a nose’s s’posed to do
“The Lost Easter Egg” by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on March 21, 2021
Filed Under Holiday | Leave a Comment
The day started out real nice
I was happy fresh and new
Brightly colored on my shell
That boiling thing was through
I was resting in a basket
With other eggs so fancy
We were placed there very carefully
By our 8 year old named Nancy
We jiggled ’round as we took a ride
To the grassy park in town
Then we each in turn were gently placed
And hidden on the ground
It was very hard to see beyond
Those real high blades of grass
But I felt very comfortable
As the time did pass
Then I heard the squealing children
Getting closer to my place
I saw as some went by me
I even saw their face
But they all passed and let me be
Maybe I’m too small
I have no arms to part the grass
No feet to help stand tall
Then the noises became distant
And soon no more were heard
“Hey anyone… Please find me!”
But I couldn’t speak a word
There was nothing I could do
To make myself be seen
And although I was brightly dyed
I was hidden by grass green
The sun went down and it got cold
And it was growing dark
The happy kids had long since gone
And left me in the park
All the other eggs were warm and safe
And happy they were found I bet
They were comfortable in their new homes
Being treated like a pet
But as I fought to stay upbeat
And pretend I’m in my bed
I spied a pair of familiar feet
“There you are!” my Nancy said
She picked me up and rescued me
She warmed me with her hand
She carried me back home with her
And put me on a stand
“I’m so glad that you weren’t found”
As she smiled and looked at me
‘Cause you’re my favorite one of all
The Easter eggs I see!”
I’ve got a place of honor
On the center shelf
We’re both happy that I wasn’t found
Nancy and myself
