“Backward Otto” by russ mckay
Posted on July 17, 2024
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Otto wanted to be in my poems
But he always talks in palindromes
Well I had a tough time
Most palindromes do not rhyme
He was basically told to go home
“Yo banana boy” Otto said
And I quickly turned ’round my head
Then he started yellin’
“No lemons no melon”
I told him to go home to bed
“Was it a car or cat I saw?”
Then he yelled “Race fast safe car”
I told Otto he made no sense
And his yellin’ made me tense
I started feeling way below par
“Slap a ham on omaha pals” he cried
As I managed to get him outside
His screaming was real
As he grabbed “Lee a eel”
But poor Otto I could not abide
He looked back at me in the fog
“Go hang a salami I’m a lasagna hog!”
And as he was leavin’
He called “Never odd or even”
Then he was chased by my neighbor’s dog
Talking with Otto’s as hard as it gets
At least he does not have Tourettes
Both backward and forward is he
I called and he looked back at me
“Just make sure you “Step on no pets!”
“Spelling”
Posted on July 2, 2024
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When I have a hard time spelling a wurd
Like hippopotamus, rhinocerous or burd
I’m told to go to the dictionary for a clew
But if you can’t spell it what do you due?
The dictionary tells you the meaning of wurds
And how to pronounce them as well as nurds
They include all the wurds in the book and bind ’em
But you gotta know how to spell ’em to find ’em
“Dirt” by russ mckay
Posted on June 23, 2024
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I got so dirty yesterday
I couldn’t see my skin
Mud is just the greatest stuff
And so fun for playing in
It took a long long time
To get my body clean
I was the dirtiest
My Mom had ever seen
After scrubbing, rinsing, scrubbing
“Am I finished?” Mom said “NOPE!”
“Now that you have cleaned yourself
You have to wash the soap!”
“The Frog And The Dog” by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on June 17, 2024
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There once was a dog whose best friend was a frog
A very unusual fraternity
A dog should try to always stay dry
But a frog…as wet as can be
The dog would bark as he ran ’round the park
And the frog would croak as he took stroke after stroke
They would smile as they watched each other
And often they’d sit quietly by to just gaze at the sky
The point being…that they were together
But it was a shame that neither one had a name
You see… they both were orphans
But when together… no matter the weather
Their brains pumped out endomorphins
Then one said to the other..”We’re unlikely brothers”
And the other quite quickly agreed
Then they both opted to pretend they’re adopted
A case they could easily plead
If brotherhood they would claim they needed a name
One that conveyed family strength
They thought hard and long
Dismissed ideas that were wrong
Then finally after great length…
They shook paw and claw
Barked… croaked.. and stood tall
Shouting their new names to the land
“I’m BULLDOG” and “I’m BULLFROG”
“Brotherhood…ahh ain’t it GRAND!!!”
“The Declining Recliner” by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on June 10, 2024
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Charley the chair sat in front of the TV
When no one was sitting it was easy to see
He looked at the pictures up on the wall
And he didn’t mind if it was spring or fall
The rug was comfy under his feet
For the life of a chair his couldn’t be beat
But his owner had lately been gaining some weight
So lying back holding him our Charley did hate
Charley would cringe when his owner came in
And plop down and push back and recline on him
And one day Charley decided to stop…
Reclining when his owner went to lie down on top
Charley’s owner pushed and pushed but the chair didn’t budge
Charley’s dislike had turned into a grudge
It was a battle of wits that Charles meant to win
And he wouldn’t recline ’til his owner was thin
But instead of his owner losing some weight
Charley soon found that he had a new fate
As the Salvation Army took him…he had a sad face
When he saw the new leather chair that was taking his place
But soon the recliner was happy again
Because his new owner was gentle and thin
And every time thereafter when asked to recline
Charley never again chose to decline
“My Shadow” by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on June 1, 2024
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I know all about my shadow
He’s just my silhouette
He always travels with me
As close as he can get
He’s careful not to leave me
He lets me know he’s there
And when the sun is shining
He’s my image…feet to hair
But he doesn’t play in rainstorms
And he won’t play after dark
He’s never in my room at night
Or under shade trees in the park
He’s my buddy, he’s my pal
In fact, he is my best friend
He’s a guy that I can count on
That I’m sure will never end
But yesterday while playing
He gave me quite a fright
I was watching as he followed
I turned left and he turned right!
“BURP” The Swine by russ mckay
Posted on May 20, 2024
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Hi! I’m Burp and yes I’m a swine
And the pleasure of meeting you is just divine
And just because I’m a swine and big
Doesn’t mean that you need to call me a “PIG”
I’ve heard people say “Those PIGS just stink”
But under all that mud we’re mostly pink
Our table manners are slight cause we don’t use a fork
And, around us, please never say the word “PORK”
We squeel and we grunt and we root around
And our farmer’s happy as we gain every pound
I agree that we’re overweight and possibly fat
It seems we’re always eating so I’ll admit that
I see you like snacking when you’re reading a rhyme
And I bet you do it nearly all of the time
But to think we’ll eat anything is a big mistake
By the way are you planning to eat all that cake?
Imaginary Friend
Posted on May 9, 2024
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I have an imaginary friend
He’s always by my side
Except of course when he takes his horse
And trots off for a ride
But he always comes galloping home
When I need him most
And I am also his best friend
But I do not like to boast
We play all kinds of sports together
And he always lets me win
I’ve had other friends before
But he’s the best that’s ever been
We have fun together
No matter what we do
The only problem we have is
I’m imaginary too
“A New Letter”
Posted on May 6, 2024
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I’ve just learned my alphabet
Memorized it A to Z
And as I said it yesterday
A thought occurred to me
I could become world famous
Everyone would know my name
If I invented a new letter
Alphabets would have to change
This is gonna take some thinking
To achieve this goal of mine
It would have to be a letter
That folks used all the time
The more I thought about it
One sure fact I found
The thing I’d have to do first
Is invent a whole new sound
“My Beautiful Weed” by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on April 22, 2024
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One spring I decided to plant some seed
My garden was flowerless and in great need
As they began to bloom I gave extra feed
But they were outshone by one glorious weed
The reddest red and the greenest green
The most beautiful plant I’d ever seen
That weed made my flowers look sick
It’s lush petals were long and thick
Even the bees and birds came to see
How lovely this weed had come to be
Then all of my neighbors stopped by and took note
And the garden editor of the newspaper wrote
“The most wondrous of horticulture indeed!”
She also asked me to save her some seed
And the man from the nursery was a visitor
He turned out to be a vociferous inquisitor
I watered and fed, kept the surround of it clear
It grew more handsome as the Autumn drew near
The flowers all wilted and grew ugly and brown
But my beautiful weed just stood its ground
Then it finally happened on the first night of frost
By the next morning my weed’s beauty was lost
It never did bloom in my garden again
And I miss my weed like I’d miss a friend
But my newest garden is flowered and lively
With a lush green crop of poison ivy
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