“If I…” by sillygrandpa
Posted on September 4, 2024
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I close my eyes and I can be
A sailor sailing on the sea
I cover my ears and I can’t hear
A thunder storm that’s growing near
I close my mouth and cannot say
An unkind word all the day
But I won’t see beauty all around
Nor will I hear a wonderful sound
And I can’t speak one kind word
And all of that would be absurd
“Brushing My Teeth” by russ mckay
Posted on August 24, 2024
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Mom and Dad make me brush my teeth
In the morning and at night
I do it ’cause they want me to
But when I grow up I might…
Not brush them very often
Not brush them like I should
Because I’m not too sure that doing it
Really does much good
I brushed my teeth an awful lot
I never missed a day
I didn’t mind the brushing then
But now I have some doubt
‘Cause I recall when I was five
All my teeth fell out!
“My First Haircut” by russ mckay
Posted on August 16, 2024
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Today is the day
I get my hair cut away
Dad said it’s OK
But I’m scared anyway
I don’t want this trip
Those scissors could slip
And he might cut my lip
Or my shirt he could rip
At the barber’s store
There was hair on the floor
But no blood and no gore
It was not long before…
He made me sit there
In his big barber chair
Then he pumped it with air
And it rose so my hair…
Was as high as his shears
I was almost in tears
As those scissors came near
“I want outta here!”
But my Dad held me down
As the man trimmed my crown
Then he turned me around
In the mirror I found…
A new looking boy
And my face filled with joy
Then the barber named Roy
Game me a small toy
“You did great my lad
You’re the nicest I’ve had
Most Kids will act bad
Or they get very sad”
“Please come back any time
And your haircut looks fine
So if there is no line
Choose the chair that is mine”
“That was fun Dad
I’m no longer sad
Roy was nice as you said
It’s the best haircut I’ve had!”
“The Silly School Bus”
Posted on August 7, 2024
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The kids were waiting for the morning school bus
All were happy without the usual fuss
Then a strange sight came down their road
A painted polka dot bus with a cartoon toad
It was wobbly and bounced as it came near
And it clunked and rattled loudly to the ear
The kids weren’t sure if they would climb inside
But they all decided that they just had to ride
The driver Dan was their regular guy
And he laughed really loud as he said “Hi!”
The seats were orange and the roof was green
It was the sillyist bus they’d EVER seen
But they all got to school safe and sound
‘Though some were happy to put their feet on the ground
But after they got off and looked back around
The silly bus was missing, nowhere to be found
The kids were still chatting about the morning fun
So the teacher asked about it when they were done
When they told the teacher about the very strange ride
She laughed and held up her SYLLABUS guide
“Imaginary Friend” by russ mckay
Posted on August 6, 2024
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I have an imaginary friend
He’s always by my side
Except of course when he takes his horse
And trots off for a ride
But he always comes galloping home
When I need him most
And I am also his best friend
But I do not like to boast
We play all kinds of sports together
And he always lets me win
I’ve had other friends before
But he’s the best that’s ever been
We have fun together
No matter what we do
The only problem we have is
I’m imaginary too
“Foreign Language” by russ mckay
Posted on July 31, 2024
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I’d like to learn the language
Of some foreign land
Then I could talk to all those people
And they would understand
Yes I would like to learn a language
How it’s spoken how it’s written
I think I’ll start with the one I heard
Those people speaking in Great Britain
Ladybug
Posted on July 24, 2024
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Ladybug Ladybug
High on my wall
Your feet must be sticky
‘Cause I see you don’t fall
You’re a pretty red color
And you’re spotted too
If you were much bigger
You’d be in a zoo
I watched you a long time
And I was surprised
Your hidden wings
Means a Ladybug flies
But one thing I don’t know
Is why you’re named that
Is it cause you’re gentle
Or you look like a hat?
I ask and I ask
But no one can surmise
And just what do we call
All you Ladybug guys?
“Backward Otto” by russ mckay
Posted on July 17, 2024
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Otto wanted to be in my poems
But he always talks in palindromes
Well I had a tough time
Most palindromes do not rhyme
He was basically told to go home
“Yo banana boy” Otto said
And I quickly turned ’round my head
Then he started yellin’
“No lemons no melon”
I told him to go home to bed
“Was it a car or cat I saw?”
Then he yelled “Race fast safe car”
I told Otto he made no sense
And his yellin’ made me tense
I started feeling way below par
“Slap a ham on omaha pals” he cried
As I managed to get him outside
His screaming was real
As he grabbed “Lee a eel”
But poor Otto I could not abide
He looked back at me in the fog
“Go hang a salami I’m a lasagna hog!”
And as he was leavin’
He called “Never odd or even”
Then he was chased by my neighbor’s dog
Talking with Otto’s as hard as it gets
At least he does not have Tourettes
Both backward and forward is he
I called and he looked back at me
“Just make sure you “Step on no pets!”
“Spelling”
Posted on July 2, 2024
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When I have a hard time spelling a wurd
Like hippopotamus, rhinocerous or burd
I’m told to go to the dictionary for a clew
But if you can’t spell it what do you due?
The dictionary tells you the meaning of wurds
And how to pronounce them as well as nurds
They include all the wurds in the book and bind ’em
But you gotta know how to spell ’em to find ’em
“Dirt” by russ mckay
Posted on June 23, 2024
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I got so dirty yesterday
I couldn’t see my skin
Mud is just the greatest stuff
And so fun for playing in
It took a long long time
To get my body clean
I was the dirtiest
My Mom had ever seen
After scrubbing, rinsing, scrubbing
“Am I finished?” Mom said “NOPE!”
“Now that you have cleaned yourself
You have to wash the soap!”
