“The Christmas Stocking” by russ mckay
Posted on December 7, 2024
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All of my socks are but a size two
They wouldn’t hold much so I knew what to do
I borrowed my Grandpa’s…his feet are real big
And I hope that Dear Santa doesn’t think I’m a Pig!
I hung Grandpa’s stocking by the chimney with care
If I’d hung up size two…well it wouldn’t be fair
Most kids I know hang socks that are HUGE
I hope no one thinks that I’m being a Scrooge
But I have something that I want to report
And I’ll try to make this long story short
When I woke up early last Christmas morn
Left instead of MY sock was one that was worn
It was all red and fuzzy with a tear in the toe
It looked like it had been left out in the snow
And there was a note on the table nearby
It was written by Santa and it started out “HI…
“…I hope you don’t mind and your Grandfather too
But I tore my stocking when I slipped on your roof
So I borrowed your sock to aid me tonight
To help keep my toes warm and solve my small plight”
Well I thought Santa’s sock was the best gift EVER
And I told lots of folks but…believe me?…NEVER!
But I know it’s true and it’s just like I said
It’s Santa’s real stocking and it’s really quite red!
But the neatest of all I’ve yet to tell
About three days later I heard the doorbell
It was UPS and a guy dressed in brown
“I have a package from the North Pole’s Lost and Found
Sign here if you want it”…and so I did
Then guess what was there when I opened the lid?
YEP! Grandpa’s stocking…as good as new
And a note from Santa that just read “Thank You!”
“The Littlest Christmas Tree” by russ mckay
Posted on December 5, 2024
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Smack dab in the middle of a great green forest
Far beyond where anyone could see
Grew the tiniest smallest but surely the prettiest
Perfectly shaped evergreen tree
The big trees around him just blocked out the sun
And he could scarcely see stars when each day was done
He wanted to grow big and full like the others
He’d be about eight feet tall had he had his druthers
A growing tree needs rain, air and sun
But this poor evergreen almost got none
His secret wish was one day to be
A brightly trimmed star topped Christmas tree
But alack and alas as the Christmas’s passed
Never one mortal soul came near him to see
What a spectacularly fine Christmas tree
He would be
It was now the third winter and with snow on his boughs
. He was startled to hear some loud whooping yowls
As he glanced around, an astonishing sight
Two kids and two parents appeared in the night
“There it is! I told you…I saw it before!”
“We just couldn’t find it
But we’ll be searching no more!”
The tree tried his best not to look at the axe
But if you want them to take you
You have to face facts
When the chopping was over and had not hurt a bit
The tree happily found that he perfectly fit
In the bed of their pickup an F150
On the ride home he thought “Man…this is nifty!”
What a wonderful Christmas it came to be
For the lucky family and of course for the tree
So the littlest tree in the forest had his dreams come true
And if you’re good and patient your dreams will too!
“Eating Rattlesnake” by russ mckay
Posted on November 22, 2024
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We went to Texas to see my Uncle Jake
And one night for dinner we all ate rattlesnake
They said “Don’t worry it tastes like chicken”
It was OK but it wasn’t fingerlickin’
But I think that eating it was a BIG mistake
‘Cause now each time that I eat chicken
It tastes like rattlesnake
“A Diet” by russ mckay
Posted on November 9, 2024
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I should go on a diet
To lose weight I am told
I’m certainly willing to try it
But on it I’m not really sold
It seems the WORLD’S on a diet
And I don’t want to be mean
But I’m not yet ready to buy it
When’s the last time you saw someone lean?
They show skinny models on TV
You can see why they were selected
Then they say “You’ll soon look just like me!”
But the small type says not to expect it
Yes Dieting’s a lucrative business
And that’s all there is to that
Boy I’d like to be in a business
Where ALL the owners are getting FAT!
“Swimming In The Sea” by silly grandpa
Posted on November 2, 2024
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I’m not the biggest fan of swimming in the ocean
It’s mostly cold and salty and removes your tanning lotion
I’ll just sit here upon the shore and watch the others swim
It’s fun to see the little ones for the first time going in
Out there’s a place where sharks and fast rip tides abound
The shore is much the safer place… they can’t reach you on high ground
The sand is soft between my toes…my book begs to be read
My new sunglasses should stay dry and so should my bald head
Yes I much prefer to spectate atop granulated turf
But I understand the fun and charm of swimming in the surf
When you think of all the things that you and yours can do in it
Just remember all those fish out there…go number one and two in it!
“Words That Do Not Rhyme” by russ mckay
Posted on October 25, 2024
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If you are a poet then the lines must rhyme
And make sure you do it each and every time
Unless of course you write free verse
But I can think of nothing worse
The trouble is…my most favorite color
“Orange” doesn’t rhyme with any other
Then there is “Month” that has no rhyme
I’ve tried to rhyme it many a time
So nothing really rhymes with orange
OH…OH…I put it at the end….oh…DARNGE!!!
“The Cheerleader Who Couldn’t Spell” by russ mckay
Posted on October 18, 2024
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At Central High they had a cheerleading team
Being on it was each girl student’s dream
Hannah could do almost all the cheers well
But there WAS a problem…she just couldn’t spell
At Friday’s game she would lead many cheers
Her arms shaping letters with all of her peers
But when it came time to spell out the school
Her crowd responses were much less than cool
After she finished trying to spell “Central”
The fans would all yell “Yeah for Xquenraal”
The coach gave her printed letters to hold up instead
But when she did…here’s what they read
“Tencral…Tencral…fight fight fight!”
She misspelled the school name all of the night
The coach then made a decision that he thought was a cure
Even Hannah’s poor spelling would be helped for sure
Hannah would hold ONE sign at the end of the line
And since it was the apostrophe all would be fine
But poor Hannah still had a problem…as everyone found
‘Cause she mistakenly held the apostrophe…upside down
“Me And You” by russ mckay
Posted on October 12, 2024
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If sky’s were green
And grass was blue
And you were me
And I were you
Here are some things I would do
I’d give all my candy just to you
.And give you my snacks and my toys too
So tell me now and let me see
What you would do if you were me
I’m a bit surprised what you said you’d do
So I’ll stay me and you stay you
“Humility” by russ mckay
Posted on October 3, 2024
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Being ” humble” should be our goal
From childhood up that’s what we’re told
But it gets tougher as you grow old
Your past triumphs are just like gold
You want to tell all you’ve done
And all the prizes that you’ve won
And you think that it is really fun
To boast about a life well run
But it gets tough to find a listener
An attention paying true parishioner
Most have heard your tales before
When you arrive…they’re out the door
Yes it’s far better to be humble
Not being so’s a social stumble
I tell you this from experience
I’d start to talk, they’d start to wince
But I kept going just the same
They didn’t think I knew their game
I was never burdened with humility
What I seek in others is not in me
Although my recent audience
Now numbers less than few
It seems that I’ve just one reader left
Please forgive me…but it’s you!
“Cat Up A Tree” by silly grandpa
Posted on September 20, 2024
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I spied a cat up in a tree
It was looking down at me
But when I smiled it turned away
And I didn’t know quite what to say
How’d you get there? I wanted to ask
It must have been quite a task!
I stood looking up from the ground
Wondering how the cat would get down
I didn’t know then, but it wondered too
And obviously did not know what to do
After both of us stared for quite a while
The cat finally began to smile
“Are you the Cheshire cat?” Was my query
But the feline was becoming weary
“I’ll climb up and help you down!”
But then the cat began to frown.
I took no mind and started up
And just as I got up to the top
The feline jumped upon my back
Then ran down to the ground
…and that’s a fact
I rested on the skinny top limb
By the way the treed cat was a him
Now I was the one who began to frown
Because I had no way to get myself down
I was feeling really really dumb
When the local firemen had to come
And help me get down from that tree
Then the cat began to laugh at me
But that was not the story’s end
The once treed cat became my friend
We joked about the tree and me
Stuck on the top of that tall tree
It’s a wonderful thing when a friend is found
But from now on we’re both staying on the ground
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