Eating Rattlesnake by russ mckay

Posted on July 25, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

We went to Texas to see my Uncle Jake
And one night for dinner we all ate rattlesnake

They said “Don’t worry it tastes like chicken”
It was OK but it wasn’t fingerlickin’
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But I think that eating it was a BIG mistake
‘Cause now each time that I eat chicken
It tastes like rattlesnake

The ‘I Don’t Know Book” by russ mckay

Posted on July 17, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

IF I wrote a book about all the things that I don’t know about

In infinite detail…my ignorance I would tout

I’d have to research all manner of things on subjects I don’t know

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And at the end of many years of learning what I didn’t know before

I’d wind up knowing everything and wouldn’t need to know any more!

Stay Puft by JonB (guest author)

Posted on July 9, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

Once a very good fellow
That has a face of fresh mellow
Then he turned against the good
Being bad, not as he should
Mutated to very large sizes
But was defeated (and they got prizes)
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The monster’s feet destroying the gate
Crossing streams killing zuel
People yelling “You are cool! ”
Everyone covered in white stuff
The remains, of Stay Puft.

The Ghost Of Endicott McNair by russ mckay

Posted on July 2, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

I was invited to a grand estate

Which I thought was really great

The huge front doors swung open wide

But when I looked…there was no one inside

The house was empty or so I thought
I held up the invitation that I had brought
Then a voice from nowhere said “Welcome”
“I’m the butler…enter…I’m Malcolm”

I saw no butler or any other sole
But I went in as I was told
“Master will be with you very soon”
Then I looked around the empty room

“HELLO!” a loud voice behind me said
“I see you’re living…well we’re all dead!”
“Glad you came I’m Endy McNair”
Then he sat upon a chair…that wasn’t really there

“We’ve had guests but very few”
“In fact this year there’s been only you”
“But we’re glad you’re here we’re so delighted
“Ah could you tell me why I was invited?”

“Well you write rhymes for girls and boys”
“The tween ones are such wonderful joys”
“But they all seem to be afraid of us”
“By the way isn’t your first name Russ?”

“Ah yes it is as you wrote on your invite”
“Malcolm wrote that…I can’t write!”
“Well we want you to compose a rhyme to tell
Your readers We Aren’t Scary and We Don’t Smell!”

It’s true he wasn’t scary and the air didn’t stink
And about that time I started to think
Ghosts do get a lot of bad press
So I’ll write a poem and do my best…

To dispell the rumor that all ghosts are mean
And it was then that I left the scene
The big doors opened and it was time
To rush on home and write this rhyme

SPELLING by russ mckay

Posted on June 29, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

When I have a hard time spelling a wurd
Like hippopotamus, rhinoceros or burd
I’m told to go to the dictionary for a clew
But if you can’t spell it what do you due?

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And how to pronounce them as well as nurds
They include all the wurds in the book and bind ’em
But you gotta know how to spell ’em to even find ’em

I HAVE TO GROW UP by russ mckay

Posted on June 24, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

I guess I have to grow up

If I want to or not

I can’t stay a kid

Keep the life that I’ve got

 

But I am so happy

That I am still young

I don’t want to get older

And climb the next rung

 

I see Mom and Dad

They work hard all the time

‘Cause if they didn’t

We’d not have a dime

 

I love going to school

Well, mostly I do

My friends are all there
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I love learning too

 

But when I am much older

I’ll have my own life

And we’ll have to make money

Both me and my wife

 

And I’ll have to buy

All kinds of toys

For my many children

Three girls and three boys

 

And I’ll have a big house

And a big mortgage to pay

But this is depressing

I’m going out to play!

 

Does The Caterpiller Know by russ mckay

Posted on June 17, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

When the caterpillar climbs up high
Checking out the dangerous sky
Watching hungry birds fly by

Does the caterpillar slowly wonder
Are there those which stop to ponder
What is it like to fly up yonder?

We humans know a thing or two
About strange changes those worms do
But we assume they’ve not got a clue
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We’re so smart but we can’t be sure
That those caterpillars don’t know there’s more
And just what metamorphosis is for

It’s quite possible that when a butterfly
After taking wing high through the sky
Smiles at caterpillars as it flies by

Because butterfly’s know…and so do I.

I LOVE EWE by russ mckay

Posted on June 4, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

The old Ram was eating his lunch
Munching grass blades by the bunch
But then his farmyard wife came by
The ram stopped eating to just say “Hi”

She had been shorn that morn of her wonderful wool
And she felt not as pretty and a bit of a fool
But the Ram hubby knew just what to do
And said  ” You look beautiful and I love EWE.”

The Kingdom Of Silly by russ mckay

Posted on May 25, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

“May I introduce to you the King Of Silly.
To whom you always must bow willy nilly”
“And every time to him you address
Our Royal King… as “Your Sillyness!”

The Kingdom wasn’t always silly you see
It used to be as sad as any could be
Then our King one day passed a decree
“ALL subjects must at once be quite SILLY!”

Well many found it easy to be
As silly as…well as silly as he
But some like Mr. Perious
Had a difficult time not being serious

The King sent his envoy over to meet
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But it didn’t take long to correct his woes
With huge orange shoes and a big red nose

Then there was the librarian named Miss Proper
She was always serious and we couldn’t stop her
A simple solution was a feather dress
That constantly tickled…everywhere you could guess

So the Kingdom was peopled with the silliest kind
That had never a serious thought on their mind
We were all happy telling jokes and singing a song
That is…until YOU came along!

GET SILLY!

The Allergic Bee by russ mckay

Posted on May 24, 2018
Filed Under Tweens | Leave a Comment

I’m a worker bee

But I am not hap-py

You see I’m allergic to honey

When the honey’s too thick

I start to get sick

And all over I start feeling funny

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And I can’t help but twitch

It’s important a worker survives

So I have to take care

Fly out…get some air

When I start to break out in hives!

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