The Magic Nickel Machine by russ mckay
Posted on April 5, 2023
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I have a neighbor Mr. Will
Who has a neat device
It turns your pennies into nickels
I’ve watched him do it twice
It really is a great machine
And it works every time
The only problem with it is
He charges you a dime!
My Shopping Trip by russ mckay
Posted on March 28, 2023
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After days and days of pleading
Mommy took me out to shop
For all kinds of pretty things
And I could hardly stop
She bought my frilly brand new dress
With ruffles and blue bows
She bought me a new necklace
And my first pantyhose
You should see the shoes I got
A pretty leather pair
And then I picked out blue barets
That look dainty in my hair
I couldn’t wait to get back home
We shopped ’til way past three
I quickly changed into my jeans
And went and climbed a tree!
Granddaughter’s Tea Party by russ mckay
Posted on March 23, 2023
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Yesterday about the hour of three
I was invited to have high tea
My Granddaughter had invited me
And I was happy to be you see
When I arrived I just said “Gee!”
Smaller teacups…there just couldn’t be
She instructed me…”Please take a seat!”
“Where DO I put my feet?”
“Oh just stick them out there anywhere
It doesn’t matter I really don’t care”
So I removed my baseball hat
And with great difficulty down I sat
My Granddaughter poured me out some air
Which only caused me to start to stare
She lifted up her cup to sip
And I put mine up to my lip
“No wait! Would you like lemon or cream?”
“Ah…yes I’ll have both if it’s all the same”
She poured me out cream air “Say when!”
“Ah…that’s just perfect once again”
“Shall it be one lump or two?”
“As many lumps as pleasures you”
Her wrist she delicately did bend
Serving me two lumps of sweet pretend
“And if you will now my dear sir
It is time for us to stir”
So I began to stir my air
With a great amount of care
“Now try some…tell me how it tastes”
I tried as a guest not to do so with haste
With my pinky finger stuck straight out
I put the cup up to my mouth
But drink the tea I just could not
The tea was much too…much too hot!
I waited…but when I took a sip
I scalded my poor upper lip
My Granddaughter laughed and giggled with glee
“Thank you for coming to tea with me!”
Three Little Doves by russ mckay
Posted on March 21, 2023
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Three little doves lost their gloves
And didn’t know where to find them
They looked all around…in the tree…on the ground
They even looked right there behind them
They’d coo and coo
And wonder who
If anyone would ever find them
They retraced every step
Looked again where they’re kept…
Their gloves even had feathers that lined them
Then…there on the chair
They found a small pair…no two…no THREE
Pairs of mittens
Then…yelling out to the doves
Three small cats wearing gloves
“You found them…we were thinking of quittin’!”
So the six swapped the gloves for the mittens
“We’d be sad if it weren’t for those kittens!”
The kittens agreed “Thank you doves indeed!
Those gloves of yours just weren’t fittin’!”
King Dumb by russ mckay
Posted on March 20, 2023
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Once upon a time there was a King
Who didn’t seem to know anything
He was thought by some
To be very dumb
He never would talk but he did sing
Well one day a little boy
Asked the King if he’d like a toy
The King nodded his head
And still nothing was said
By the way the child’s name was Roy
Roy and the King’s friendship was true
Of the friendship soon everyone knew
And though in the castle…some
Still thought the King Dumb
Roy said “After all…he’s only two!”
Grandma’s House by russ mckay
Posted on March 13, 2023
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I love to go to Grandma’s house
And Grandpa lives there too
Though they’re not young like Mom and Dad
There’s always something new
Mommy’s Mom and Daddy
Are Grand in every way
And I am a Grand daughter
I’ll make Mom Grand too some day
Pictures of her as a little girl
Are all around the place
In some of those she looks like me
Especially in the face
There’s tons of cake and candy
That are a “secret” treat
And there’s lots of toys but none for boys
And I think that’s really neat!
Grandma takes me shopping
And Grandpa drives the car
We’re always taking little trips
But we never go real far
Sometimes when we’re playing
Grandpa holds his back
“That’s all the “Horsey” for today!…
How ’bout we have a snack?”
And when the weekend’s over
“It’s time to go back home” I’m told
I always make them promise
Never ever to get old!
Ogden Nash by russ mckay
Posted on March 7, 2023
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I miss a writer named Ogden Nash
His rhymes were funny and often brash
Sometimes he would fracture verse
And he was almost never terse
And one thing more that’s really neat
He used to live just up the street
I wasn’t writing poems back then
Not yet taking up the pen
But I wish that he were here today
I’d show him my work to hear what he’d say
‘Though I might be a bit afraid
He’d say that my skills don’t make the grade
He might refuse to help my cause
Because my poetry has such flaws
People sometimes aren’t the way they seem
He might have turned out to be really mean
So it’s silly for me to have this dread
That I’ve been conjuring in my head
He really can’t hurt my feelings none
‘Cause he’s been dead since ’71!
Just Like Me by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on February 26, 2023
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There once was a town along Pickelman’s Pike
Where all the kids looked exactly alike
They had the same color eyes and the same color hair
They even chose the same clothes to wear
It became very tough for their parents to tell
Which child was theirs and which one was…well
The kid down the block or the kid up the street
Each kid was identical…each kid that you’d meet
As you might imagine it was tough for the teachers
And difficult too for all of the preachers
If one kid was bad they ALL were in trouble
When two kids were there you always saw double
The whole town agreed a solution was needed
The school principal’s idea was the one that was heeded
Each kid would wear a number…at school and in town
At least ’til a better solution was found
Of course the kids would switch numbers to confuse everyone
The parents were angry but the kids thought it fun
The kids knew who they were but weren’t too sure
The identity of anyone else anymore
So the whole town decided in the future there’d be
For each kid a unique look and personality
Kids tastes started changing…their manner and style
Each kid developed an individual smile
Soon the whole town decided it was better to be
One of a kind and just “one” of me
When everyone’s different everyone wins
But now what do we do with the Robinson twins?
“When You’re A Wren” by russ mckay
Posted on February 20, 2023
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As the shells were cracking
The space grew lacking
We wanted to spread our new wings
It was hard to rest
In that tight little nest
Me and my four new sib-lings
After weeks of just sitting
Mom was off flitting
We waited with some sense of dread
Our mouths were held open
We’re always hopin’
We’d be the first to be fed
The grubs kept a comin’
Our Mom sure was somethin’
She could find food with the best
But as we grew older
My siblings grew bolder
There was less food and no rest
The eating’s not easy
Worms make me queasy
But you must never be meek
So I do my best
To live in a nest
Where I am just the fifth beak
I ‘d like a menu more varied
But when she got married
Mom’s motherly instinct took hold
And while I am peeping
It’s bugs I’ll be eating
But this food routine’s gettin’ old
The day came for flyin’
My siblings were crying
But I was up for the dare
Mom took me to the ledge
I looked over the edge
And said” Man that’s a long way down there”
“Go ahead try
I know you can fly
We’re birds…that’s what we do”
“I’m not scared of flight
I’m afraid of the height…
I’ll just wait over here ’til they’re through”
“Trust me you’ll like it”…
“I think I’ll just hike it
I’m hoping on hopping through life”
“You’ve just got to fly
And I’ll show you why
Just watch as I soar with no strife”
Mom flew through the air
Without any care
She circled about in the sky
I watched her in awe
And though I just saw
I just couldn’t, and wouldn’t, dare try
“I can’t see the ground
I might go straight down!
And I bet if I crashed you would cry”
“Oh sure you can do it
Put wings and mind to it
And you’ll soon fly well as I”
“Just flap your wings
God gave you those things
So we birds could look down on the rest”
I flapped ’round a bit
But then I just quit
“I… think I’ll… look down from this nest!”
Then Dad came along
Just finished his song
And Mom whispered and pointed to me
“It’s time to go son
You’re the last one
And we’ve other places to be”
He nudged my behind
And though I declined
It was over the edge I did fling
I peeked at the ground
Getting closer I found
So I panicked and flapped both my wings
Well wonder of wonders
The air that rushed under
Was lifting and turning me round
I moved this and that
Flapped like a bat
And soared up above that hard ground
I could go over there
I could go anywhere
Mom’s right, I could fly like a bird
“Look what he’s done
Aren’t you proud of our son?”
But ’twas I who had final word!
“Wow!” I extolled
As I flew barrel rolls
And waved my wings to the rest
“That’s no place for me
I’ve got places to see”
I bid happy goodbye to the nest
A New Letter by sillygrandpa.com
Posted on February 14, 2023
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I’ve just learned my alphabet
Memorized it A to Z
And as I said it yesterday
A thought occurred to me
I could become world famous
Everyone would know my name
If I invented a new letter
Alphabets would have to change
This is gonna take some thinking
To achieve this goal of mine
It would have to be a letter
That folks used all the time
The more I thought about it
One sure fact I found
The thing I’d have to do first
Is invent a whole new sound!
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